This past Saturday, I attended an Out of the Darkness walk for suicide prevention. The money goes to AFSP, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. This was my OotD fourth walk I’ve participated in.
It’s always a bit emotional at these walks. People with bibs bearing the names of loved ones lost to suicide. T-shirts with photographs of the faces of those lost. Some with t-shirts bearing the words “Suicide Attempt Survivor”. I saw many with green beads around their necks, like myself, signifying a personal struggle with suicide and mental health issues.
I always cry, at least a bit at these things. I cry for the things I remember about that day. I cry for guilt. This time, though, I cried out of gratitude. All I could think when I saw those names and faces of those lost was how grateful I was to not just be a name on a bib. Not just a painful memory for those who love me.